Tuesday, June 14, 2005

Bubba and Muma and the Chevy Nova

I was going to write an entirely different blog today focusing on my adventures of last evening, but J is getting a bit nervous, I think, that I mention him often on this blog so I will only say this:
He is test driving a 1964 Chevy Nova for a couple days to see if he likes it and wants to purchase it. I don't know about you, but I don't generally drive around in classic cars. I like my Honda. After needling me about the fact that the Nova is probably safer because it is metal and not fiberglass/plastic like my Honda, J tried to get me to relax. For whatever reason, the idea that I would have metal wrapped around my body rather than plastic should we end up around a tree didn't seem the least bit comforting.

It was also interesting because this is a performance car. For those of you don't know what that is, join me in the club. I think it means that the engine makes so much noise that even if the am radio worked in the car, you wouldn't hear it anyway. Oh, and it makes the car go fast or something.

We picked it up from his friend's house. His friend said that when he picked it up, something about it wouldn't start because of the something or other under the hood that did this and that, blah, blah, blah. What I heard was, there was fuel spitting out and I thought there might be a fire, J is familiar with fires under hoods.

It doesn't matter that the car is probably safer than my Honda, I heard fuel and fire in the same sentence in reference to the car I was about to get into. Suffice to say, I was uncomfortable. Then there was a question as to whether we would have headlights or not. Then there was discussion about whether or not there would be traction in the rain on the roads. Then J said he hadn't driven a 4-speed in some time.

He laughed at my inexperience and more than apparent nervousness. I laughed because the car was so small he drove with his knees at his chin with this tiny little steering wheel in between his legs. J is 6'4" or 6'5" - tall dude.

He isn't sure if he will buy it or not, I'm not sure if I will ever ride in it again or not. But I will say this - once I got used to it, I felt rather cool rolling down the window and sticking my arm out as the engine made horrific noises. I felt as though I should have a 'pink ladies' jacket on. Or some sort of bauble that indicates I am with my boyfriend in his Chevy Nova like a t-shirt that reads Chevy Forever or something.

But that isn't the point of this blog.

As we were driving last night I was thinking of cool places to drive the Nova. And I remembered taking a trip with a good friend of mine a couple years ago to visit another good friend of mine in Connecticut. We went to Hartford to visit the Mark Twain house because I am a sucker for Mark Twain and old houses. While on a guided tour of the house, we were joined by a couple we affectionately dubbed Bubba and Mumma (muma is phonetically spelled) - although Bubba and Mama works just as well.

Bubba and Mumma were a mother/son pair who had driven from Detroit overnight so they could make the early tour of the Mark Twain house. They laughed when they shared that they hadn't even slept yet. They just "came right from Detroit to the tour," as if the rest of us would have said, "Geez, that makes you cooler than me who got a wonderful 8 hours last night" - you goddamned freaks!

Anyway, Bubba had eyes for me and it was more than obvious. Bubba is also someone you expect to find in West Virginia strumming a banjo and patting his sister on the behind while she changes the diaper of their love child.

J- don't be jealous - this was years ago and Bubba meant nothing to me!

My friends had a good old laugh at my expense and secretly thanked Jesus that they were not the object of his desire.

At any rate, after the ill-fated tour, we parted company and went home.

The next day we thought we would take a longer drive to Mystic, CT. Mystic is an amazing little seaport town with so much charm, character, and charisma that I wanted to move right in (note to J - we have to visit). Mystic has this pretty incredible museum that showcases the nautical nature of this town. We pay our money to tour around. As we are paying my friend runs excitedly up to me unable to speak because she is damn near pissing her pants laughing. She pulls me over to the object of such emotion because she can't speak. I look through the door and who do I see? Bubba and Mumma.

Everyone is laughing but me because it is going to take a good couple hours to get through this museum and it's not big enough to avoid them. We do try and make a game out of picking a different building or direction to go in. By the way, if Bubba and Mumma got any sleep it didn't show because they still looked beastly and odd.

We managed to avoid them for most of the day until we were cornered in a building explaining the uses of submarines. How ironic. Trapped in a submarine. I am trying to cower in a corner pretending to be interested in the historic plaque explaining how seaman made a life on submarines in such close quarters, when over comes Bubba and Mumma.

"Hey, we know you," they joked as if we were lifelong friends. One of my friends comes over and pretends to be interested in the conversation trying to help me out of the situation. The rest are in another room laughing their asses off, I am sure!

After a rather painful 2 minute conversation at which point I felt Bubba's skeevie eyes boring through my sassiness, we were able to leave. Our Bubba and Mumma radar was on high alert for the rest of the day and we managed to avoid contact with them, although we did see them again, from a safe distance.

I have no idea what made me think of that story last night. One of those unexplained things. But the story is funny enough to share thereby taking some attention away from J who is tired of getting the attention on this blog.

If you find yourself in a bind like this in the future, be sure you have some Wild Mountain Organics (WMO) with you. WMO can't repel Bubba and Mumma, but you can tell them about us and suggest they buy our products to up their cool factor. And we will always be thrilled with more customers!


Monica said...

I cannot believe you remember them!!! Thank you for making me remember them- its like I can still see them standing next to us!!! Unfortunately I think I even remember what they were wearing!! I would much rather think about the Mark Twain house and Mystic w/o them in it, but I guess it adds to our memories. Thanks for the great reading. Hope to talk to you soon. Monica

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