I haven't written in my blog in quite some time. I have wanted to, but haven't seemed to find the time. Now I have a backlog of funny crap I need to get off my chest.
Let me start with my wedding. The wedding itself wasn't funny. I am thrilled to be married. I love my husband.
We chose a Saturday in September because we thought it would still be nice enough to have a wedding outdoors. Oh it was nice. Nice and shitty. It rained the whole damn day. And it was so humid I was sweating down my back and between my breasts.
I had heard that if it rains on your wedding day, it's good luck. Know who came up with that? Some poor superstitious bastard who needed to believe that the bad weather on his wedding was a good omen to get his new and nagging wife to shut up about the fact that her make-up has run down her face and her hair is frizzy.
I had neither of those problems. In fact, I had a pretty good day, despite the weather.
I discovered that wedding dresses - if you get the right one - can serve as a purse. I was able to wear this corset thing and my strapless dress and have room to spare in my cleavage to hold things like my vows, lipstick and the checks to pay the DJ and the caterer.
In fact, it is when I went to pay the DJ and I reached into my cleavage to get the check, that I noticed a $50 bill. I have no idea where it came from.
My only conclusion is that my breasts have the power to generate money!
I should have kept the dress on a bit longer.