What a glorious day we had for Mother's Day! Many of you reading this may think - yes, but we always have glorious days for Mother's Day - all you readers outside Western New York, like Charlotte and Orlando.
But, for Western New York, Mother's Day is iffy. It's early May - we might still get snow! One cannot be too careful.
But the weather was glorious! And in keeping with that - nothing says Happy Mother's Day like sweating your ass off and exhausting yourself in the backyard with your mother. My mother loves to garden. In fact, I would consider her a landscape artist - not by trade but she could have been. She is talented and clever when it comes to gardening. As with most things, she also has the energy of an adventure racer on crack. The women never stops. She can garden, rake, mow, weed, and plant all day. Without a break. In fact, when I encouraged her to drink water, she was reluctant because she didn't want to have to stop to pee.
This is why she was recruited to help me clean up my yard and teach me a thing or two about gardening. While I was taking my numerous bathroom breaks, she was still planting, weeding, raking, etc. I love it!
It was a nice mother's day. When we were finished we ordered Chinese food. Nothing says Happy Mother's Day better than take out Chinese. Being as lazy as I was after hauling brush and leaves to the road for the past 4 hours, I drove across the street to get the food. We devoured it as if we hadn't seen food in months.
Then she overshared as is common. I found out the gentleman she is 'dating' now is 46. My mother - Demi Moore - is 62 - soon to be 63. And "he knows how to smooch." It is at this point in the conversation that I start going to my happy place - a small secluded cove in Newfoundland with my kayak. I think of how wonderful it would be to launch the kayak and paddle around the cove. All alone. No thoughts or words about my mother's sex life.
When I return she is deep in thought with a smile on her face and I suspect she has visited her happy place. That place may contain whips and chains and likely a young Sven or two fanning her with palm fronds and feeding her grapes.
The fruit doesn't fall far from the tree. J - got a palm frond? I'll bring the grapes.
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