Thursday, September 28, 2006

We would like to be seated in the Child Free Zone

I live in New York State. As with many states, you are no longer able to smoke in public places, including restaurants and bars. I love this! But this is hardly the reason for the blog.

We no longer have to answer the question "smoking or non-smoking" when greeted by a hostess in a restaurant.

I would, however, like to segregate my regular dining establishments. I would like a Child or Non-Child choice.

My boyfriend and I were in a restaurant on Friday evening. We both work out asses off all week and like to unwind on weekends - which do begin Friday evening. We also like to unwind in a nice restaurant with good food, good booze, and good company. I do not like to be disturbed with various refrains of MOM! MOM! MOM!

This is an open announcement to parents everywhere:

If you are taking your kids out - SHUT THEM THE HELL UP!

As a general rule, your screaming, tantrum-throwing child is only cute to you. No one else is saying, Aw, look at that little bastard. Aren't his lungs powerful? Isn't the snot on his chin yummy? Isn't he a dream? NO ONE.

So while you are swigging your beer (which I would do if I had to lay claim to any of these kids), little Johnny is screaming that he wants chicken fingers or pizza or that he wants Mountain Dew (Because water won't work. Let's get them all wired up before the meal comes.). And can't understand why you are not responding to him. Why you don't want to be bothered.

And the other guests in the restaurant are wondering when you are going to call it a night and leave. Or when our food is coming so we can stuff our faces fast, or take it to go.

I do not pretend that parenting is easy. I am sure it is not. Life isn't easy. You made choices that ultimately affect others. When the tots leave the homestead, they affect others, apparently in a 10 mile radius. Be considerate of those of us who either get sitters or own dogs because they are imminently less hassle and most often cuter.

I am sure I have pissed off many parents. This does not apply to all parents. Do your kids act up? Leave them home with a sitter. But part of me suspects the reason the ill-behaved spawn are in the restaurant in the first place with drinking parents is because sitters have said "Hell no!"

Bon Appetit!


Jen14221 said...

Oh, dear.

uploadjoe said...

I am 100% with you. I love kids, but I don't understand why people insist on taking thier kids out in public when they cannot behave.

My Wife and I have no plans to have children and I am sick of people looking at us like we are crazy when we say that.

-- Jeremy

MyloBarksdale said...

Agreed! I had the same experience last saturday night. No one else in the restaurant seemed to be amused by the screaming little brats either. The old couple sitting near our table started angrily conversing in another language (german perhaps?)-- i swear they had been speaking english prior! I think they were talking about the same thing we were... make those kids shut up! (or order takeout and let them scream all they want at your own dinner table!)

Peggy said...

Happened upon your blog because of "kayak" being in the name. I love this post about a child-free zone! A few years ago put a page up about a restaurant for such parents--