Monday, October 15, 2007

Haunted Houses

It have been four months since my last post, I apologize.

What has me fired up today is the show "Hauntings" on Discovery Channel. Yesterday they had a mini-marathon. I have to watch this show while it is still daylight outside otherwise I end up scaring myself. I live in an old house that could be haunted but doesn't appear to be. I don't want some TV-watching karma to suddenly open a portal to Demonville and I then never sleep again.

At any rate, as with all ghost story shows and haunting shows, you get the background on the situation as well as some pretty funny reenactments.

Yesterday, a married couple living with mom and dad were house hunting. They knew they had to get a house or they would end up divorced. It seems mom and dad aren't fun to live with if you are married. [In retrospect, I should have recognized immediately that this couple was dumb, but I digress.]

Their real estate agent drives to this old Victorian house in New England somewhere. She pulls in the driveway and won't even get out of the car. She gives the couple the keys to the house with a kind "have at it, see you when you come out." The couple even states they find this odd. The agent said that she had been in the house once before and won't ever go back in but won't say why.

This doesn't seem to bother them.

It's a giant red flag for me.

Carry on.

The couple walks into the house to be greeted by the family of screwed up freaks. The father, mother and daughter are living in the living room. They have a bed set up, couch, etc. The rest of the house isn't lived in. The father tells the couple not to go upstairs.

They do. All of the doors are nailed shut with boards. They ask why, they get no answer. They get blank, skeevy stares.

Now, I know what you are thinking, the real estate agent won't set foot in the house; the family lives in one room and doesn't speak except to say "don't go upstairs;" the rooms upstairs are all boarded up; this is your dream home! How can you purchase it right away?

That's not what you're thinking?

That's because you are not the couple with their heads in their asses.

Yup, that's right, they buy the house.

It is their dream house.

They regret it when the realize there is a portal to hell and all manner of demon spirits living there.

They need an exorcism, which they get.

Are you kidding? All of this could have been avoided had you decided to think!

Happy Hauntings!

1 comment:

Michael said...

Welcome back! I'd been concerned you had defected to the Chinese and were setting up a Taoist retreat in the western deserts, or something like that!