My Ass is on Fire!

A couple of weeks ago, we went to a Buffalo Bills football game. It was a game they actually won, so you can imagine how long ago that was.

My fiance was given two of the company's tickets in the club seats. He had been doing such a good job at work that they rewarded him with tickets.

I haven't watched football in quite some time. I enjoy football, I just have better things to do on Sundays in the fall. The fall semester is generally quite hectic so I find myself grading papers, preparing classes, relaxing, etc. Football doesn't fit into any of those categories.

Hockey is another matter, but I digress.

At any rate, we went to the game and decided to park in the Ralph Wilson Stadium parking lot. We could have parked in some of the private lots (aka, people's front lawns), but didn't. They were a bit cheaper, but we didn't think anything of it. We also thought that since the tickets were free, we would park closer to the stadium.

Parking was $25.

Let me give you some perspective. The last time I went to a Bills game, my ticket was $25. Parking was $5.

$25 to park the damn car?!

Our tickets were close to $200 each.

For $200, you better serve food to me in my seat, cut my meat, arrange the straw in my wine just so (okay, I don't use a straw in wine, but it's funny), and then rub my feet at halftime.

None of that happened and we were too cheap and afraid to order anything because we were afraid we would need a second mortgage on the damn house!

The afternoon started out quite well. The temperature was mild, the sun was out, the fans were screaming, JP Losman wasn't playing, and my ass was on fire.

I turned to Jamie and asked him why my ass was hot. He told me the seat was probably on.

We were in heated seats! Heated seats!

I am a redneck. I don't have heated seats. If your ass is hot at my house, it means someone has set your chair on fire.

I had to have him turn it off because it wasn't cold enough outside to warrant a hot ass.

After halftime, the clouds came in, the sun went away, the wind picked up, and my ass was cold.

Then we turned the seat on again.

All was right with the world.