Are REALLY Risque
1. "Don't pull the snake too hard. You'll hurt it." Said to my husband as he wrestled with a milk snake this weekend. Turns out we have a giant crack in our back patio that is attractive to snakes. Cocoa sniffed it out and we tried to dislodge it. Jamie managed to do so and took it up into the weeds. We think it came back - or there are multiple snakes in the crack. We plan to demolish the concrete in that spot. When Jamie said that we might have a snake problem and they might get into the house, that was enough for me. I like snakes and know they are good to have (keep rodents in check), but I don't want to find one in the kitchen before I've had coffee. Or after.
2. That's a hell of a crack. This is a follow up to the above. We do have a hell of a crack in our deck. I'll try to get a photo of it with the snake present. That's key.
3. "Give me some more goo." We made some amazing progress on our bathroom this weekend. I became the tile master. I was in charge of tiling the shower and the floor. This requires some sort of tile glue. I think it may be called mortar, but I have no idea. I called it goo. So I said to Jamie, give me some more goo. I was on a ladder and needed additional tile glue to get a tile to stick.
4. "You're gonna need those knee pads." Turns out when you tile a floor you really do need those knee pads! Here is a photo of me with my work clothes on and the knee pads. "How do I get me some of that, " said no one ever.
5. "Please tell XXX to stop trying to get me pregnant!" This was said several years ago after I had just gotten married. A close friend - noted as XXX in the quote - kept asking me when I was going to have children knowing full well that I had no intention of doing so. It was a running joke. One day I said this in a meeting. It was beyond comical. A better way to have phrased the statement: "Please tell XXX that I am not ever having children and to shut up about it."