Thursday, April 27, 2006

What's Wrong with this Country?

This is a pretty broad question. Many of you probably have answers that could be argued to be true. Let me tell you what I think is wrong.

I was reading the USA Today yesterday morning. I wanted to get the scores from the NHL playoff games the evening before. The Sabres didn't play that night but I was curious who won in the other series and who was leading over whom.

The Sports page seemed the logical place to look. Front page - something about football. I guess there's a draft coming up or some crap. These are the NHL Playoffs! Football doesn't start for another 4 months or so. Get the hell over it!

Pages 2 and 3. Something about baseball. Two pages plus discussing whatever the hell has happened in baseball in the last 3 minutes. A big yawn for me. NHL Playoffs! Where are the scores?

Next pages - something about college spring sports - lacrosse, tennis, and yes, baseball. I am all for collegiate sports. Hell, I work at a Division I University. I love the sports. But this is the NHL Playoffs. How come it is so freaking hard to get scores!

The next pages...and this is where it gets disturbing.

Golf (A coma sport in my book. I define a coma sport as one in which commentators have to damn near whisper to relay any "action" and I use that term loosely. The coma comes into play when I have to watch it for whatever reason. My body, in a nod to Darwin, shuts itself down - puts itself into a coma - to protect it from this kind of boredom. A sort of survival mechanism.)
and
Nascar.

That's right, Nascar. A recap of some rednecks racing around a track preceded any discussion of superb athletes skating their hearts out on a rink (Viva la Canada). NHL Playoffs? Where the Christ are my scores?!

Next to last page. I had to sift through all the other crap to get the scores. And it was one page. NHL Playoffs relegated to one of the back pages of the USA Today.

In another slap in the face, hockey scores were on one of the back pages this morning also, but there was a wonderful full page ad about the playoffs. An ad. The freaking league has to pay to get any coverage.

That's what's wrong with this country. Our emphasis on bad sports (or activities that shouldn't be classified as sports) or emphasis on sports at inappropriate times. I love football, but let's talk football during the season. God help us all if anyone mentioned hockey in August.

Why is baseball America's game? Is it because no other country would have it? Dull, dull, dull.

Perhaps that's why I like Canada (in addition to being half Canadian). They know sports (with the exception of curling, but everyone is entitled to a mistake). They also provide the best sports commentary. They are a scrappy country with good people who like good sports. And I bet the NHL Playoff scores made the front page of the sports section.

But, come on - Nascar? Are you kidding me? How is this a sport? Someone, please help me.

There should be a separate section - not a sports section - for stuff like Nascar. We can call it the Redneck section. Or the Activities that Want to be Sports, section. Nascar information can be there next to news of the upcoming tractor pull, calls for hog wrestling, or pie eating contest winners. In fact, stick bowling in there also. And perhaps even curling.

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