Monday, March 30, 2009

Where's the Boogie Man when you need him?

My husband and I were in a nice restaurant last night. We were the only people there enjoying the peacefulness when what should happen?

Tots. Three tots.

Three tots whom we suspect belonged to the owner of the restaurant because someone from the kitchen came out to join the ill-behaved brats. She seemed to own the place.

These kids were loud, obnoxious, ornery, ugly, insert other words here.

I decided that if I ever own a restaurant (and I may in the future), I will post a sign just inside the front door that reads something like this:

Ill-behaved children will not be tolerated.
If you bring children into this restaurant, know that if they act up management will:
-Get in touch with the Boogie Man to make sure he hides under their beds at night for the next week.
-Call Santa to let him know they should receive coal for Christmas.
-Tell the Tooth Fairy to remove all their teeth at once, causing them great pain, and then leave them nothing.
-Make sure the Easter Bunny knows to poop in their Easter Baskets so they think it's chocolate.
-Shove a flag up their asses on flag day.

Bon Appetit!


Silbs said...

Best you don't buy a restaurant and thus keep your name out of the news papers :)

Jessica Manocchio said...

There is a bar/restaurant on Pearl Street called the Century Grill that has a sign on the door that says something along the lines of "No children under the age of 10." I thought you would appreciate that.